via Panoply

 

I didn’t mean to tell you how I felt.

You didn’t want to know, but it slipped out anyway.

Now you’re wary of these runaway truths.

I told you I loved you and now you’re unsure of us.

How can a declaration of passion lead to such heartbreak?

Don’t you feel the same?

It is pure misery to know I laid my heart at your feet

And you hid behind two words:

We’re over.

How can this be the epilogue to our tale?

Our story isn’t ending— this is just the beginning.

I promise I’ll keep a better lock on my tongue,

A tighter seal on my lips.

My emotions got the better of me and snuck through my clenched teeth.

They bubbled, poured, and spilled out into a heaping, tangled mess.

I don’t love you.

How can I love someone who doesn’t feel the same?

I need to know I am loved back—

That my affections are returned.

I can’t be stuck in a one-way, unrequited relationship.

We’re done. Finished.

I don’t love you.

I said it once, that I did, and you ran. You denied. You lied.

I know you feel our connection.

But I don’t love you. You realize that now. You spurned me and I opened my eyes to reality.

I don’t love you— can’t.

My broken heart couldn’t handle it if I did.

So I don’t.

I don’t love you at all.

You knocked on my door one day when I was home,

After the devastating trampling of my heart.

You had the nerve to show your face on my doorstep.

And I was the fool who couldn’t resist.

I answered and I’ve regretted it ever since.

I’m a slave to your fluctuating moods.

You pulled me close, kissed me heatedly, and said:

“I love you.”

The biggest lie.

And, like an idiot, I allowed myself to be manipulated.

I let myself believe. But you didn’t love me.

You don’t.

I was moving on and that— not me— caught your interest.

You don’t love me. You don’t want me.

You just like to know you can.

But I swear I’ll never utter these words.

But I couldn’t hold back the cascade

And you were shocked by the panoply of words.

I won’t unchain these escaped words.

I’ll never mistakenly tell you what’s in my heart,

In my soul,

On my mind.

But I’ll whisper it to the wind in the night,

Instead, I release this secret to the darkness:

I hate you.

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